Billonie Sandwich: Happiness

I am not sure if happiness is the right name for this post. Either happiness, or contentment. That is what I struggle terribly with. How to be happy/content. I used to be. I remember what it was like.

I made less money, but had more friends. I tried less, but had a better relationship. I toiled less, but preached better sermons. Somewhere along the way I allowed myself to controlled by someone else. I used to (mostly) let God lead me. I submitted as best as I knew how. I did what I supposed he wanted. Then, you'd think, "Oh! Then you took control and started trying to do it on your own." That is not what happened either. I gave into people leading me. I'd do anything it took to be recognized as the top theologian or friend. The best at what I did... I let people who were better than myself in terms of success conjure up this mythical Billy.

Mythical Billy sat behind a bad-ass cherry wood desk. Behind his desk sat the best authored books the James P. Boyce Centennial Library had to author. Every few minutes his phone would ring... "Oh hey! What's up Mr. MacArthur! Of course I can fill your pulpit next Sunday!" "Hey, Brother! I am being nominated for the Convention President? Surprise. Meet me at Starbucks at 6 so we can talk abnormally loud about it so the others in the store and can hear us."

Mythical Billy did not have it all, though! What he lacked, he used to his advantage. He would use his poor old car as a sermon illustration. He would use his battered home life as leverage in a counselling session. Oh, how God must absolutely adore Mythical Billy.

In Mythical Billy's obituary, he was compared as so: If somehow, Aiden Tozer, John MacArthur, Al Mohler, Max Lucado, Clives Lewis, Oswald Chambers, Charles Spurgeon, and Mike Woods had a baby--They'd name him Mythical Billy James Edwards, Extraordinaire.
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Today, I am digging a grave. On the gravestone is chiseled:

Here lies Mythical Billy-

GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE. Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you. To Him be dominion forever and ever. Amen.

And on the backside:

I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.